In the few hours since my last post, tens of complaints have been streaming in over the wires about the excessive length of my pointless, droning diatribes (that means you, Alex). I am launching an investigation into these serious charges as part of my new, carefully planned move to become 32% less tedious in 2010. My staff believes a thirty to forty-percent reduction in tediousness can be achieved by cutting my posts down to the size of most newspaper stories. My staff is also fond of watching re-runs of "The Flying Nun."
Since Alex, and other keen observers, has pronounced my piercing socio-political commentary as "a little bit long," perhaps he'll appreciate the terse, clipped nature of this public service message announcing my Reduced Tedium Initiative 2010, or "RTI 2K10."
I'm currently researching my next post, which I pledge will be "a little less long," just to make it easier for viewers to digest in one sitting. Complaining, know-it-all viewers like Alex, I mean.
Look for the new edition in a matter of days. (not available in stores...)